Neolithic Laser Pointer

9/5/09 -- KINGSMEAD QUARRY, HORTON, ENGLAND

Archaeologists have unearthed a puzzling group of artifacts that has defied all logical explanations. Digging through a campsite believed to be more than 5,000 years old, Dr. Hugo Barclay of the University of Sheffield discovered a bunch of objects that resembled Neolithic spear heads. On closer examination, however, Professor Barclay found a small button which, when pressed, turned on a powerful laser pointer. "It's uncanny," said the dumbfounded Professor over a cup of Darjeeling tea. "We can't see how such a laser pointer could have existed five millennia ago. For god's sake, the lever and fulcrum wouldn't come around for another two thousand years!" said Barclay.

A limited supply of these archaeological miracles has been shipped to the Unemployed Philosophers Guild in the United States. They are available only to qualified purchasers for research and educational purposes only. They're approximately 3 inches long and the battery is included, though not replaceable.

Meanwhile, Dr. Barclay continues with his dig. Other recent finds includes a stone hammer, a carved mammoth tooth, and a George Foreman waffle maker.   Hide More